Firstly I was told to stop shopping, my question was how we gonna eat if there's no food, Gods response was "trust me"
Ok seems like an easy thing to do right!? Not if ur trust in general is like non existent, it was a trust and faith building exercise that I will never forget.
My bank account had been empty for over two weeks, payments went in and straight back out again. But that's fine, at least it was until the cupboards started running low. I started getting concerned, my miracle wasn't appearing when I thought I needed one!
Another week passed by, the fridge freezer started emptying too! Right here's my prayer "God you said to trust you and I can't see anything to feed my children with how are we going to survive with no food and no money??"
My answer came as " don't not worry about tomorrow, or what you will eat or wear"
That makes me feel better. Now I understand it all, not!
Then I started to realise a pattern, I was fasting so I didn't eat until dinner time anyway but the children had breakfast, lunch then dinner time someone unknowingly blessed us with dinner on those days my mind struggled to be creative with whatever was left.
Wow! Now my faith/trust levels were rising. When I felt hunger pangs I'd sit and read and pray for quite a while by the time I was finished, I'd forgotten all about food and would have enough strength and energy to carry on like I'd just had a meal.
Then I got a text to say can you do my children's hair this weekend, again another blessing from God not only did I earn bus fare for the school run and my bible study book I also had money that I could finally put in the collection plate, my loose change was 10% of my income. I had the internal war that it was pointless putting that amount in, then the story of the widows mites came to mind it was only a little, but it was all I had and I only had it because God blessed me with it.
I learned to become more obedient, fine tuned my ears to his voice, especially when it came to offerings and what I shouldn't be doing.
Get togethers with my social group were a myth as they usually centre around food!!! I missed out on a few things and partly because in top if my usual daily chores they were just too much without my usual intake of food, sacrifices that won't go unnoticed.
Unfortunately some people took offense because I didn't feel to justify my absence, fasting is a very personal thing to me.
My prayer life, worship and praise were up by 10% at least I didn't even know how to worship before! Imagine I've been 'saved' two years and I didn't understand the concept of worship but then again I didn't realise what I had to worship him for, all the things we take for granted.
In the mornings I thought I would have to walk 2 miles to school with the children but I never did! I always got blessed with money for the bus, a lift or even a parent stopping to take Angel to school for me! God is so good, he's too good. All he asked was for me to trust him. I didn't instantly stop worrying but I did stop trying to figure out ways to make ends meet.
Of course the devil came with his tips and ideas in the form of old friends but I wasn't going without my beloved food for so long to then go and lose my blessing by using my own initiative, no thanks I'll just work on my patience.
Sunday services were amazing, my deliverance was like none I'd ever experienced before, the next weeks topic was so close to home it was like confirmation of what God had been telling me.
My passports came through this week after about 5 weeks of struggle, I cashed in my bond after weeks of worrying about spending money.
All these things I believe came about because I obeyed, somethings are so small you wouldn't think they counted for anything, but in the everlasting kingdom it's the little things that make the big difference!
I sorted payment for my tithes and offerings as instructed by God, we did have an ongoing conversation on why I should pay these to whom and why? And yes he answered every question with a satisfying answer even if I'd heard it before, coming from the main source it was indisputable. I feel much better for it, almost like a weight off my shoulders, when doing the will of God you should feel peace.
My fast is coming to an end now and it seems very difficult more so than it did in the beginning, but I will keep going until the end because it was what I was instructed to do... Obedience is better than sacrifice!
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