My understanding of his love for me has increased and I'm even more grateful for his agape love than ever before!
Despite the fact I allowed myself to take part in a relationship that was clearly a counterfeit blessing he kept me, things could have ended worse, I could even still be on the spirit sapping relationship, constantly fighting for peace of mind. He started out so perfect finishing my sentences and almost reading my thoughts. He was so kind and caring and seemingly thoughtful...
The not-so-perfect guy I was dating turned out to be a complete nut job! My course although it's nearly all new to me, isn't as hard as everyone predicted, I admittedly failed my first essay and understand practically nothing about ICT and statistics. Finally all my children are in school and masses of progress with their learning and behaviour are being made. I can see a love for learning in them I prayed so much for this.
My relationships with my parents are healing. My house is more of a home than ever and I have an absolutely new perspective on my life!!!
It's still not a walk in the park and recently I've been feeling heavy and unusually sad. I feel as though people still think I have everything together and under control and therefore can manage more... I actually am like everyone else desperately trying to keep everything together and under control!
At the moment exercise and fitness are keeping me sane it's a healthy way for me to inflict pain on myself without scars or shame or health problems.
Looking through all my note books I see how far I've come this last year and how many of my prayers have been answered.
I'm finding myself and rooting myself in Christ, but the cell group I was part of seems to have disbanded?!?! It's not a bad thing my priority is my children, the first ministry God has given me, so I'm usually home with them watching movies (that's our thing at the moment) but in all honesty I can't help but wonder if we're supposed to make more time for each other or if it was just a time and season to get us through our hardest part of our journeys, the first part.
A few of us have moved city, gotten engaged and married, things are constantly changing it's hard to keep up, but I now know God never changes He is always faithful and true! Focusing on temporary things doesn't amount to anything but focusing on God will move mountains and amount to greatness 
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