My Aunty asked me not to use that title, but it made me chuckle and I have no other way to explain it.
I miss the affection and intimate company of males. I can go so long without it and then I crumble and walk right back into what I was just free from. It's not just the act it's the whole connection around it, sex is totally spiritual and I get that but it's that spiritual connection I yearn for.
I admit I want sex less and less by the day, but it doesn't stop me doing it.
I don't feel as though it's something I can just decide to stop then just stop, maybe I can and I doubt myself or maybe it's one of those slow processes that some of us have to go through.
I have noticed a change within myself in relation to my 'weakness' but it's a small change or rather a series of small changes.
It's not a huge desire like it used to be, it's almost like a hobby now I just do it when I can, if I can either be bothered. Male attention still really bugs me even though it used to have the opposite effect! I don't quite know how to be straight, without coming across rude. So I'm polite and friendly which men seem to take as interest.
Kind of a catch 22 trying to be Christlike, but being blunt enough to shoot down unwanted advances.
I've managed to cut off all my 'links' any sexual ties or just unhealthy relationships with any men possibly wanting more!
I don't even feel bad I feel free and clean!
I'm content with me my provider and my children.
I've got personal goals to accomplish and I can't have distractions weighing me down I'm 30 in a short while and I've had a lifetime of failures and aborted dreams, usually because of men.
I feel like Gods going to push me to the top and when I get there I'll see my king, who will be ready to make me a queen.
My dress sense has changed even more since my last little transformation.
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